Reflect Now or Regret Later
Seven weeks post-surgery, I’ve been struggling.
Unable to work out, I’ve been feeling the toll both mentally and physically. However, it wasn’t until a recent meditation that I realized an even bigger issue: I wasn’t showing up for my son the way I wanted to.
My youngest boy has developed a passion for fishing, which is something completely foreign to me. I’ve driven him to fishing spots, watched from the sidelines, but when he’s asked me to buy a rod and join him, I’ve resisted.
I’d ask, “Can’t we play basketball or golf instead?” You know, something where I can actually contribute in a meaningful way.
For two months, I’ve found excuses. My businesses were behind. The book promotion had slowed down. My health was still recovering. All valid reasons, I thought.
Wrong.
During that meditation, the truth hit me hard: I was completely out of alignment with my own values. In my book, I write passionately about seizing every opportunity to connect with our kids when they want to spend time with us.
Yet here I was, turning down my son’s invitations because fishing wasn’t my thing.
The shame was immediate and overwhelming. I felt like an imposter. The tears came as I imagined his disappointment each time his Dad said no. I only have five years left with him at home. Ugh.
Then, in prayer, I asked for guidance to transform this shame into something useful.
Clarity came.
I wasn’t a fraud—I’d simply gotten off track. My practices of meditation, journaling, and prayer had done precisely what they were supposed to do—alert me when I’d drifted from my values.
Instead of shame, I started feeling gratitude. I’d caught this after just a month, not ten years from now when it would be too late.
I almost didn’t share this story.
After all, I have a reputation to maintain. I wrote a book about prioritizing time with our kids over work. Some of you might read this and think I’m a fraud.
But here’s what I’ve learned: Being a great parent isn’t about perfection. It’s about having tools and habits that help us recognize when we’re off course—and the humility to correct it.
I apologized to my son. I acknowledged my mistake and reminded him that spending time with him is one of my most important priorities.
I’ve been telling people recently that my book launched me into the “Regret Minimization Business.” Well, this is what that looks like in practice. If your kids still live at home and want to spend time with you, find a way to make it happen. The activity doesn’t matter. Your expertise doesn’t matter.
Their invitation does.
Wish me luck—I’m heading out to buy a fishing rod. The ramped-up book promotion will have to wait.
After all, there are no $50,000 moments in my inbox. But there are likely several waiting for me at a nearby lake.