Forget Your Goals. Minimize Your Regrets.

As we approach the end of 2025, I am sure many of you are thinking about your goals and resolutions for next year.

Pardon the interruption, but before rushing ahead, I’d like to invite you to pause and think about any regrets you may have from this past year and any potential regrets you may have a year from now if you continue on with business as usual. If you have any major regrets, they are almost certainly causing a less-than-stellar version of you to show up in all areas of life.

The two most popular New Year’s Resolutions are:

1)       Losing Weight/Getting in Better Shape/Going to the Gym More

2)       Making More Money/Saving More Money

I am sure that adding 15% to your bottom line and having pants that fit better will feel rewarding, but how long will that feeling last if you are constantly tired and stressed out? Or if you hate your work, have a wife and kids who can barely tolerate you, and a smattering of surface-level friendships?

I don’t want you to try harder; I want you to zoom out and make sure you are focusing on the right things.

Quitting coping mechanisms, like drinking or gambling, that are likely holding people back in some way, are also popular resolutions every year. While cutting back on them is admirable, have you thought about why you were doing them in the first place? Because the things you were avoiding are still going to be there, begging for another addiction if you don’t give them the attention they deserve.

Instead of focusing on small goals, I want to challenge you to aim for significantly better outcomes in the important areas of your life. Here are some examples of what I mean, which include some of my past “goals” and a few others:

·       Wake up in the morning and feel amazing

·       Have kids who will come to you when they are dealing with a difficult situation

·       Have a spouse or significant other who doesn’t dread having sex with you

·       Have a calm central nervous system

·       Have friends with whom you can be yourself around

·       Have a close relationship with God

And by the way, I have a little secret for you. If you get these big things right, don’t be surprised if your bottom-line increases, and your waistline decreases. These will likely be byproducts that result from the emergence of a version of you that is filled with health in the body, peace in the spirit, and love in your heart.

And next year you will have fewer regrets, and you’ll likely find yourself setting goals for yourself that wouldn’t even seem possible today.